The problem here is that from his family's perspective, it isn't self hosted - just hosted by a less powerful, likely less competent feudal lord than they're used to.

>I had this vision of my entire family using the applications I installed.

>occasionally asking me to install something new

If the model doesn't give them sovereignty, why should they care?

Don't worry about your family.

They never appreciate things. You can take the kids to paris on vacation, and the kids will like the hotel pool better than the louvre.

I think do self hosting for yourself.

then get together (or at least communicate) with others that do the same - like minded people who share your interests.

and if your family accidentally likes something you do, well then you're ahead.

maybe you'll get lucky... "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." - Mark Twain