As I rent the place, the last thing I want to do, just for this once, is to pull the thing open and make it smarter. But that doesn't mean all is lost - it came with an Orcon 15RF remote to control the speed of the fan. If I break that, it's a much cheaper fix.
And yes, someone will want to point out that I could get something speaking the RAMSES II protocol directly, but I already had the remote and an ESP32, so doing some guy math tells me that this method is 100% free.