I grapple with the exact same issue. I'd say def ignore toomuchtodo's comment on only doing things that brings you joy! it's a trap. stay open to exploring new things. sure, sometimes it goes nowhere but the experience is absolute joy, teach you a lot, gives you insight and prepare you for making hard decisions (did you say more alphas?). it's always good to wander: not all who wander are lost!

I ignore my impending death and remember that I regard any day I didn't learn something new/do something interesting as a wasted day.

Sometimes you just have to live in the now and let the future (and past) take care of themselves.

EDIT: I should probably expand on this just a little so it doesn't sound quite so dismissive (not the intent), I got diagnosed with two potentially serious medical conditions about 13 years ago (at 33 and within a few months of each other) and for the first time I had to truly contemplate that some day I'd die (we all know we will but how many of us actually consider it seriously rather than pushing it to the back of the mind especially in our early 30's), I realised I was lucky to have existed at all and that the only meaning in life is the one I ascribe it so other than the things everyone has to do to live I just spend time with my loved ones, indulge my curiosity, read what I want, watch what I want, play video games if that's what I want to do and admire the universe, as for the health stuff, one is stable and the other while not great isn't going to kill me any sooner (+/- few % statistically)

> We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton.

> We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here. We privileged few, who won the lottery of birth against all odds, how dare we whine at our inevitable return to that prior state from which the vast majority have never stirred? (Dawkins - Unweaving the Rainbow).

sometimes just doing nothing - i mean really absolutely nothing (while staying awake ;-)) - for 2 hrs. is exactly what needs to be done. There is a significant chance that you will know what topic to pick up afterwards... at least you tried s.th. new by doing nothing for 2 hrs. which can be beneficial and therefore isn't wasted time.

I'll still spend 2 hours getting 4 hours worth of accomplishments done just about any time.

>as I get older,

It's even easier after a few extra decades, you can get a lot better over time if you put your mind to it.

This is one of the very things I've probably been working on the longest and it's really helped the most.

Do what brings you joy, discard what doesn’t. Stay curious, keep learning.