In fact, in a bout of lucidness, he tried to take his own life because "Elijah had left him". That's horrid.
The people I have known have hurt themselves and took actions that were designed to hurt others - physically, emotionally, in one case financially - because they believed in a higher order. Sometimes, that higher order was, errr, me. [1]
If the story of saving his son's life is true, that's marvellous and mysterious and wonderful. But the surgery referred to at the start of the surgery sounds like it introduced an infection and/or change in brain function somehow, and he suffered with the consequences the rest of his life.
As an aside, it's weird how many stories of mental hallucinations are tied to the music of the Beatles. Perhaps its popularity, or because it was a step change in how music was written and produced, but I was watching something the other night that mentioned just how obsessed Manson was with the White album. Now this with Strawberry fields. Don't know what to make of it, just an odd data point.
[1] These people felt I was controlling their mind, I could read their mind, I was instructing them, and so on. I was just having a chat down the pub with them, nothing more (but then, if I were a mystic being trying to do my work through others I would say that, wouldn't I?). The common factor in all these men (and they were all men < 35 years old at the time), was heavy cannabis use, particularly in teen years. This is now well documented in literature as being linked to schizophrenia.
A big part of it, is seeing “connections,” in everything.
Every newspaper article, every radio ad, every person glancing your way, is a “message.” Sometimes, it’s good, but usually, it’s bad. They’re “plotting to kill me,” or “spying on me.”
People like that, are uniquely susceptible to suggestions from sycophantic LLMs, which can be disastrous.
I used up my quota of acid, before I was 18. It’s basically “temporary schizophrenia.”
I've lately been wondering if schizophrenia causes this connection-seeing, or if connections cause indicators of schizophrenia/psychosis.
I've lived in cities like New Orleans, where everything seems magically connected through something about the culture and relationship structure imho, which results in intense feelings of synchronicity. There seems to be a high proportion of schizophrenia and general mania in New Orleans.
And now LLMs (which are always making and reinforcing connections, right or wrong) lead me to wonder about this direction of causality once more...
IIRC Manson thought the song "Helter Skelter" referred to some sort of apocalypse. In fact, it is just a name for a children's helical slide that used to be popular in British fairgrounds!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helter_skelter_(ride)
First known appearance on Blackpool Pleasure Beach in 1906.
From VALIS (which was largely based on his experiences):
> What he did not know then is that it is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.
> Let it be said that one of the first symptoms of psychosis is that the person feels perhaps he is becoming psychotic. It is another Chinese finger trap. You cannot think about it without becoming part of it. By thinking about madness, Horselover Fat slipped by degrees into madness.
> People suffering nervous breakdowns often do a lot of research, to find explanations for what they are undergoing. The research, of course, fails.
> What struck me was the oddity of a lunatic discounting his hallucinations in this sophisticated manner; Fat had intellectually dealt himself out of the game of madness while still enjoying its sights and sounds.
I see almost 4 versions of PKD in VALIS: the narrator, Fat, the narrator instantiated into the story itself, and then the real life author (who is treating this book as semi fictional, semi autobiographical).
I think Lennon once made the claim that he had taken acid 1000 times. So it lines up.
The interesting thing though is how it seems like he developed this over time. Many of his stories are just straight up bad, goofy cliche messes. When you read an anthology of his short stories, for example, at least half of them read like bad jokes an AI came up with.
At some point I need to read his works in chronological order, just to observe his growth as a writer more directly.
His more complex stuff came later. But then too his need for money would lead to churning out something publishable over something polished.
I think PKD might well have been tickled by the idea of whether he might have been an AI sent back in time to become a sci-fi author.
PKD also invokes Buddhism and Hinduism frequently in the Exegesis. Here's a quote I love from it:
> I have seen the infinities of Judaism, which is morality, of Christianity, which is love, of the Greeks, which is wisdom, and I have seen God’s power as pronoia and charis to rescue me by bending the world itself; but beauty is a perplexing infinity, raising more questions than it answers. It is a puzzle too intricate for me. It spans all else. As I sit across the game board from Krishna I say, “I have found in beauty that which I could not myself have made; thus I have found the benchmarks. I believe, for I have the evidence that I trust; it is sufficient.” There is an infinity of good, of love, of wisdom, of power, but each particular beautiful thing is infinitely beautiful, and there is an infinity of them, so beauty, alone, is an infinity of infinities: ∞2.
This isn't quite what happens. It's actually left extremely ambiguous what's happening and where they are after the explosion.
That's a great insight.
On the other hand if we broaden the meaning of mystic revelation, a "light" mystic revelation, like being in awe in front of nature for example, would have nothing to do with acute schizophrenia.
Exactly this can happen, whilst also being labelled schizophrenia.
- There exists something that cannot be explained by the law of physics
- a schizophrenia label is always caused by genuine mystic revelation
I wasn't under the impression that the quote meant that a genuine mystic revelation would be labelled as schizophrenia, if that was what the quote meant, that doesn't seem like a great hindsight or particularly deep observation to me.
Which was really hilarious, because for PKD, the point was that he couldn't discount his experiences. He couldn't make them go away even though he understood perfectly well that he might simply be crazy.
Objectively speaking, you end up exactly the same way you started.
It is as if I said: oh, the app hangs: infinite loop or crash and frozen? It is one or the other, but never both. Yet you do not know if there is no way for further inspection.
Amphetamine psychosis is almost indistinguishable from paranoid schizophrenia.
It causes severe paranoia, delusions, visual hallucinations, and a complete break from reality.