2 pointsby abcrezmmoan hour ago1 comment
  • toomuchtodoan hour ago
    There are escorts, and there are partners. One gets paid in fiat, the other in your time. If you can’t make the time, you can’t afford a partner. The time is the cost of a committed, investable relationship. There is no shortcut where you don’t spend the time.

    Remember that a job will never love you back, and all of them are more temporary and of less value than a partner who respects and appreciates you. If you have to pick between the job and partner, find a better job. It’s just a job, and a good partner is far more material in your life success.

    This is the same advice my children will receive when they are old enough, if that is relevant from a value perspective, but they get a bit of the lesson early with the care and respect I treat their mother with day to day (so they see what a healthy relationship is to model their own relationships after). You’re not looking for a soulmate, you’re looking for a cell mate. Find someone you can gracefully and effectively suffer life together with. But make the time for them, it’s not optional. I was lucky to find my person, I wish you luck.

    https://youtube.com/shorts/D5XipFExGbM

    (n=1, married ~20 years, ymmv, very sex positive, no shade towards sex workers, the point is “understand the relationship and the transaction you are negotiating and participating in”)