Commute time is built-in decompression time that can be very valuable. For example we have small kids and it's just not going to happen that I am going to tell my wife on a given morning or evening "take care of them while I go on a hike" or whatever.
So on days they I decide to go to the office - I get about 2 hours (one hour each way) of reading time (or podcast time, if I were driving in) which realistically would not materialize any other way.
I think many dads that are my fellow commuters see the commute as a sort of sacred solo space that's hard to maintain otherwise (eg the unspoken etiquette is if you see someone you know on the train you don't sit next to them so they can have their peace and quiet)
So now both my wife and myself take time for ourselves to get that decompression time when needed.
I do wonder if having a single bathroom as a child played any part in my reasonably good grasp of concurrency control though!
And culture already seems to acknowledge and expect that. We have the trope of mom taking a long bubble bath, for example.
"Man time" is usually portrayed as something we allow begrudgingly, like when he goes to the pub with the guys, or to watch sports, or to play video games. I rarely see quiet personal time portrayed as something men need or deserve.
Fanjambo!
You said the quiet part out loud: During your commute you force your female partner to do more of the work tending kids and doing household chores.
I agree that many dads enjoy this privileged escape of parenting duties.
If anyone's forcing anyone, it's the employer and "the system" that conspire to force people into cars and onto the road for far too much of the workday. I didn't have children, but when I lived with family, friends, or significant other, I felt robbed. I felt robbed by my career because the commute was unpaid time, off-the-clock, where I was denied the time to be present, at home, with my loved ones, or doing chores, or hobbies. So, I was robbed; I wasn't forcing my girlfriend to cook or clean or be alone. I didn't have the agency to make that decision: it is made for me and all men like me.
When I drove a car, at least the commute was as fast as possible. When I ride public transit on a commute, the times become ungodly, and they truly eat away at your unpaid free time! At least public transit costs pennies compared to maintaining and driving a car!
Wives and mothers deserve some alone-time. It's incumbent on the husband to carve this out so that she doesn't burn out. It's incumbent on fathers to make time, quality time, for their children. But it's even more incumbent on these couples to earn money, do chores, and put in the work for raising their children. That's why we've got schools, because they step in and do the childcare, in loco parentis, and hopefully children have extended families that also participate in those duties.
That assumes you can meaningfully decompress. In a car, it's almost impossible (or at the very least, reckless) if you are the driver, and on most crowded stop-and-go routes even as a passenger. In any kind of public transit you have to deal with anything from rowdy children over beggars, drunks, thieves and other undesirables to keeping up with the latest construction BS and delays. Basically the only thing left is biking or walking, but that only works out on specific routes (i.e. well built sidewalks and separate, wide bike lanes)...
I may go back to the office someday if I'm forced to, but I won't do it for free. Companies need to compensate in office employees not just for the extra work, but for the expense.
Now I use some of those extra hours for the company, and some to work on my side projects. It's glorious. I'm both more productive at work and happier than I've ever been. I also don't get sick when all the cube-dwellers do a few times per year.
If I had to be stuck in a car for my commute, I'd definitely resent it.
Doing good, enforced reading time, plus free snacks. What's not to love? (other than the vein spiking, for some people).
They have to find a job that allows them to do that, and such jobs are increasingly difficult to find.
Where I'm based, even though it might be the smallest startup that could save a good bit by getting rid of their office costs if they gave people WFH, they won't.
Yes, it was better than driving but still wasn't that great. I had to catch the train at about 6:30 AM. And it was still a good 3 hours on the train any given day. Wasn't really very relaxing and I never found it an environment conducive to getting real work done.
1) Five minute walk. 2)
I mostly drove.
I don't know if the source was reputable or not.
To me, it's not just the commute. I actually prefer working from home. I enjoyed his description of Miyazaki greeting the ghosts though, I think I could work from an office if it was my studio, but I'd want it to be very close to my home.
Remote work also makes it possible for me to follow my natural "productivity cycle," which means I often get to work until late in the evening while still being able to have dinner with my family and then just have a short commute to my bedroom when they're (usually) already asleep. I did late-night (and even all-night) work too from offices when I was young, but it's one thing to do that in your very early 20s and with only your parents as family, than as an almost 50 with a spouse and kids.
As for enshittification defenses, besides having a family (including cats, used to have a dog too), having musical instruments within reach is great for when I need a quick break. Some breaks can also involve devices and still not be about dopamine, like when I reach out for my personal laptop to open renoise. Lately I've also taken up drawing a bit. I suck at it, but I still enjoy the activity.
I agree on the benefits of social activities. My workout of choice is weightlifting and I do have regulars that I talk to (plus for some exercises you really do need someone around if you want to safely get to your breaking point).
The one thing I miss from my youth days is social music playing. I hope I'll get back to that someday, but everybody's life is busy in different ways and, unlike getting together for coffee or beer, getting together to play music does require a bigger logistical effort and time budget. While I wait for the opportunity to arise, playing along to records is an OK way to get by.
Driving a motor vehicle was perhaps an opportunity for focus and solitude, but the act of driving itself is too active, too demanding, to be zen or deeply contemplative. The most I could do was rock out to a custom mixtape or the radio, and ignore my troubles.
One commute was across a treacherous mountain pass with switchbacks and deadly fog. I once deliberately caused an accident there on the highway. I once came six inches from wrapping myself and my Integra around a pine tree. I don't miss driving to work.
Later in life, when I was denied ownership of a vehicle, I commuted by public transit. This could be heaven or this could be hell. If there was a disturbance or complication on the bus, it was a daily trauma and I arrived at my destination as a triggered, frazzled, bundle of nerves. If the voyage was uneventful, I truly had a chance to space out, watch the scenery, and arrive relaxed and calm.
Nowadays, I'm more likely to use a taxi or a rideshare. Waymo is the calmest and most efficient transport for solitude and silence. But taxis travel very fast, and being rushed is not conducive to contemplation. So, I do try to mix in some public transit wherever possible, and during those times, I pray it's on the uneventful side.
As far as lo-fi goes, I must recommend Leavv. Mind Garden and Tales of a Flowing Forest. Both pre-AI music albums that are lovely to work/study to.
Listening to Tokyo Echo Sounds right now, is it AI? Probably, but how tf would I even know if I did care?
Will that be the case for the music that you are listening to that’s generated by AI, maybe? Maybe not?
By highlighting that the music predates generative AI, at least that’s something that you won’t have to think about.
At least, that’s how I read it. It’s like a ‘no artificial sweeteners’ label on a drink.
Knowing I'm sitting there consuming the uncaring out of a machine just makes me feel sad and alone and I'd rather avoid that feeling.
Clinically, that doesn’t matter. However to a listener who is being intentional, it most definitely matters.
More than that though, I completely disagree that anything I'd ever choose to listen to is elevator tier / background noise. Just because it is playing while other things are happening does not mean it never receives focus or active listening.
Gemini speculated that it might have to do with the AI not mimicking the audios phase properly.
A web app for blind testing this would be an interesting project
Not sure why you got downvoted, but I too think it would be interesting. I vaguely remember a story about it posted here a while ago.
But more importantly, through the community I've met some new friends, so my social life blew up. Now I rely less on the co-working space and more on meeting with the new friend group for sports and debates.
It's been an adventure in finding out what makes me tick and finding ways of addressing it in healthy ways.
It’s rapidly getting unusable even with Adblock etc
Would be pretty interesting to figure out if the amount of dopamine really is smaller. I'm not convinced.
But anyway: the bigger picture I've been wondering a lot about lately is whether this dopamine addiction is ok to begin with. I've never had much issues with the 'truckloads' OP names but all things considered my life is basically a journey from one dopamine shot (coffee ritual, sport, problem solving, sex, music, drugs) to the next and everything in between feels not too interesting. And I'm fearful for what's going to happen when I can't do some of those anymore when getting older.
I like the idea of a fixed 3pm tea time. This is another fun way to inject more structure into the passing of time. I’m going to try it.
I remember years ago my office had an issue and I worked from a cafe. It was so relaxing. I asked my boss at the time and he freaked out and that was the end of that.
The worst feeling of working in an office is feeling like you have to be there when you're not doing anything. That's outside of the commute.
Saving my brain from attention fracture via smartphone is a big theme for me right now as well. That's a whole other effort, but I appreciate the use of workday routine as a countermeasure against phone addiction.
Every part of his day except for this part was awesome. Family, Train ride, etc... But the glass building and cubicle. I'm desperately trying to get out of knowledge work and into something else. Enshittification is knowledge work now. I would rather be in an excavator digging footings.
I can only have this "rich" life outside of work because I don't commute to an office daily.
But we're all different. Kudos to the poster for a good read and for finding something that works for them.
I was a little worried that "Belvita" was an ai-inserted advertisement in a blog post that had been enshittified.
As much as I absolutely wanted to veg out doing full WFH, I saw the light and was inevitably forced to do the same.
I was enjoying a social life that revolved around drinking and staying out late. It caught up with me in the form of some mild health symptoms, but it caused significant anxiety.
I was suddenly hyper aware of the damage I was doing and had to drop the bad habits. I'm doing much better now, but can only wonder in horror what that very well-traveled road looked like. Many generations before me would have grit their teeth and suffered under that inescapable inertia for decades.
The symptoms that come with obesity, drinking, and a terrible diet like an elevated A1C, high cholesterol, hypertension, etc. are easy to ignore when you are stuck running the hamster wheel to earn a living. I had to admit they weren't just temporary from the hangover anymore and could become permanent.
I'm very thankful I got to turn things around in private without the office peer pressure.
Big open office spaces crammed with people working elbow to elbow. Very noisy. The problem of bosses threatening to kill you still might exist, asshole bosses exist in every work setting
It's probably still a better workplace than factories but probably not as much better as you're imagining
Edit: My favorite workplace ever was located at an industrial building. We had our own secured parking lot we didn't have to pay for, we had actual cubicles, and lots of space between people and teams. It was awesome not having to spend all day with headphones in to block out the sound of people on sales calls. We had a gym that was just for people at the company! It was awesome
Then they moved us downtown and it sucked. My commute got so much longer and my workspace got so much worse
If you find yourself starting to glamorize it just remember what it's like to share toilets with 25 strangers, some of whom have poor habits. In exchange for the shared toilet experience you get to be constantly distracted by noise because they did away with grown-up offices but still expect you to focus like you weren't in a room full of people making zoom calls.
It’s normie these days to have cubicles, instead of being in an open floorplan? Not in Silicon Valley, I don’t think.