298 pointsby rationalist2 hours ago24 comments
  • kstrauseran hour ago
    This is the first year when I can’t do that.

    Please go do it on my behalf, while it’s possible.

    • Beestie12 minutes ago
      it gets easier but not by much. I wouldn't have it any other way. Been 15 years and I don't want to ever forget. My Mom is showing your Mom around and they are trading stories of what brats we were :-)
    • thenipper16 minutes ago
      Same here. I’m sorry for your loss and may her memory be a blessing.

      If you need someone to talk to I’m here.

    • highwaylights36 minutes ago
      Coming up on 3 years here. I felt this. Can also confirm this is based advice.
    • 43 minutes ago
      undefined
    • AnimalMuppet37 minutes ago
      My second. Most of the time it's fine, but... today it hit me. I don't have a mother anymore.

      So, yeah. Call while you can.

    • coalstartprob34 minutes ago
      [dead]
  • codeulikean hour ago
    Unless you're in the UK in which case it was the 15th March and you've already done it (or already missed it)
    • user_78325 minutes ago
      Or you're in any timezone significantly ahead of the US (so like over 40% of the world's population). It's already 11.35pm here in India, and most moms (and reasonable adults) are already asleep. China/SE Asia/Jp etc are even further ahead.

      Better luck next year... I guess?

    • nip35 minutes ago
      And if you’re French, don’t worry, you didn’t miss it.

      It’s the 31st of May

    • pluc35 minutes ago
      Yeah I learned that today! I wonder what's the reason behind the difference.
    • pmg101an hour ago
      Fourth Sunday in Lent or something, very easy to forget it!
      • beardyw32 minutes ago
        Yes, it pre-dates the gift card (and gift) industry. I seem to recall being told it was to allow servants to go home to see their mothers. See how vaguely I framed that.
  • xyzelementan hour ago
    Before I got married and had kids I thought it was a dumb Hallmark holiday.

    Now I think it's really significant and important to have an official day dedicated to recognize all the moms out there.

    Happy mother's day to all the moms out there. And all the guys that made them moms :)

  • anilakar10 minutes ago
    When my mom remarried, her new husband started to manipulate her and isolate her from other relatives, trying to turn everyone against each other. The last time I met her, I was basically talking to two copies of him.

    I've already dealt with the fact that I will not get my mom back.

  • chipgap98an hour ago
    Happy Mothers Day to all the moms on HN
    • nsbkan hour ago
      And Latvia
  • amunozoan hour ago
    Is it always May 10 in the countries where it's now? In Spain is the first Sunday of the month.
    • jacekm29 minutes ago
      In Poland it's on 26th of May.
    • unclad596836 minutes ago
      Second Sunday of May in the US
      • dyauspitr31 minutes ago
        Why do they do this? Why not just have a fixed date for these things? Is it so people can use the weekend to celebrate?
        • jolmg21 minutes ago
          For Mother's Day, possibly, but it's not always the case. Thanksgiving is on the 4th Thursday of November.
        • Moto745128 minutes ago
          Yes
    • pjmlpan hour ago
      Like in Portugal, I guess it is an Iberian thing.
  • Bender2 hours ago
    I'll have a drink in her memory.
    • rationalistan hour ago
      I'm sorry for your loss.
    • coalstartprob33 minutes ago
      cheers mate
      • user_78322 minutes ago
        Sorry, but seeing your comment being called dead by HN was... amusing.

        (I personally think it's okay to be amused, even if it's thanks to dead people. I don't think any mother would really mind too much.)

  • croisillonan hour ago
    (in the US)
  • mastabadtomm26 minutes ago
    I lost my father last year because of complications from severe Alzheimer's. When I saw this, I thought my mother is still with us, and I need to be grateful for that. I love you mum!
  • rglover21 minutes ago
    Lost my mom 17 years ago. Don't be a chump; one day she won't be here and you will miss her in ways you never could have imagined.
  • alex7oan hour ago
    How is it mother day isn't that 8 march
    • taubekan hour ago
      March 8th is International Women's Day (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Women%27s_Day).

      Mother’s Day is different from country to country (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day)

      • nottorpan hour ago
        Apparently, according to wikipedia, we have a "mother's day" in the first sunday in may. I've seen nothing in the news about it and wasn't aware of its existence.

        8 March was an entirely different animal...

    • Swizecan hour ago
      March 8 is international women’s day. The most ignored of all holidays by US culture. To an almost hilarious degree.

      My partner frequently brags that she’s the only of her friends and coworkers, in 10+ years, who has ever gotten flowers for women’s day. Meanwhile even Uber drivers have wished her a happy women’s day in various heavy foreign accents.

      • drfloyd51an hour ago
        I feel some editorializing going on.

        Here[0] is a list of many holidays that are ignored more than international women’s day.

        Happy International Day of Plant Health to you!

        0: https://www.un.org/en/observances/list-days-weeks

        • halb21 minutes ago
          international day of plant health is on may 12, not today!
      • ipaddr41 minutes ago
        November 19 is international men's day. How many times have you gotten flowers on that day? Or Uber drivers wishing you a happy men's day?
        • catlikesshrimp15 minutes ago
          The joke goes as following: Women are celebrated once a year... because men have the rest of the days.
        • avycado1339 minutes ago
          lol. why arent we celebrated more
      • throwaway27727an hour ago
        International men's day isn't a thing in the US either, so that's not surprising. Contrast to Mother's/Father's Day, which are.
      • xyzelementan hour ago
        // My partner frequently brags

        March 8th is for the partners, mother's day is for the wives :)

        Just kidding but couldn't resist.

      • locallost8 minutes ago
        Flowers for women's day is another ultimately weird tradition in many countries. Weird because the point of women's day is equality and not to be treated like our little special ladies. I always half jokingly said a more suitable gift would be a mini wrench or a screwdriver.
      • einpoklum21 minutes ago
        Like May 1st which is snubbed in favor of (non-organized?) Labor Day, and, well, the metric system which has somehow still not been adopted in the US...
      • dyauspitr31 minutes ago
        I wouldn’t say that. I don’t believe a men’s day even exists.
  • vishnukoolan hour ago
    Respect. It's a good day to remember the impact they had even if they are no longer around to pick up the phone. Btw calling her now.
  • chcardoz21 minutes ago
    Happy mother's day to any mothers here!
  • bdangubic9 minutes ago
    Call your Mom every day, even for a minute
  • issoms719 minutes ago
    "I don't have mother" That's why I came to hear
  • david-gpuan hour ago
    I am happy for all those who celebrate.

    Quick reminder that not all mothers are good people that we must keep in touch with. For people recovering from a rough childhood, here are a couple of resources that may be useful to you:

    1. "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Gibson.

    2. https://old.reddit.com/r/AdultChildren+CPTSD+raisedbynarciss...

    • jsdfasds16 minutes ago
      Yep. My parents went to prison for child abuse.
    • Trasmatta24 minutes ago
      Thank you for the acknowledgement of this. Mother's Day can be intensely painful for people who had or have abusive or neglectful mothers. I think this should be acknowledged before the blanket advice of "call your mom" is given.
    • livinglist17 minutes ago
      I grew up in a toxic household (my mom cheated when I was two, my stepfather was very abusive towards my mom, and my mom was always condescending and materialistic and kept using me to get money from my birth father, my birth father has depression and I just never felt any love from him), and I now barely keep in touch with both my parents, the first one hit home.
  • pjmlpan hour ago
    Not everywhere, in Portugal it is the first May's Sunday.
  • Imustaskforhelpan hour ago
    I have just come to HN from I was actually helping my mother in pressing legs as her legs sometimes hurt from pain :-(

    Gonna go help my mom again in massaging her legs, Okay shes asking me to help now, bye!

    • 29 minutes ago
      undefined
  • malfistan hour ago
    She despises me for being gay. Not a chance I'm calling her.
    • RF_Enthusiast36 minutes ago
      Not all moms are good people. People with good moms often have trouble understanding or respecting that.
      • dyauspitr25 minutes ago
        Every parent in Asia would despise their son if they were gay. That does not make them bad parents.
        • pixel_popping13 minutes ago
          Literally it does, "culture" is an excuse to hide some shitty behavior sometimes, many aspects of many culture are pure trash and must change. (I live in Asia).

          Child marriage is an example, very few will argue that it doesn't make them bad parents for selling their children, but it's completely alright in many cultures, nope, garbage culture.

          And what you say about every parents in Asia is utter-nonsense btw and it's not the reality, you clearly don't understand a word of what you are writing.

        • smt8822 minutes ago
          Hating your child for the genes you gave them absolutely makes you a bad parent.
        • Trasmatta23 minutes ago
          This is patently and absurdly false.
        • squigz24 minutes ago
          Yes it does.
    • sgt44 minutes ago
      Give her a call regardless. Perhaps that's the first step to letting it sink in for her that you actually care about her.
      • Trasmatta22 minutes ago
        Bad advice when you don't know the situation. It's never a child's job to fix an abusive parent.
      • bossyTeacher12 minutes ago
        > the first step to letting it sink in for her that you actually care about her.

        You clearly didn't read properly. It's the mom the one who doesn't care about her child. Calling her isn't going to change anything.

        • rationalist10 minutes ago
          Despising someone for something doesn't automatically mean that person doesn't care about someone.

          Calling might not change anything, but that doesn't mean that change couldn't happen another way.

    • bassrattle33 minutes ago
      She can hate the things you do and still love who you are. Shining your light where it's cold and dark is the only way to make the darkness go away. Hope this helps
      • tombert23 minutes ago
        My mom is fine, but my grandmother has said exceedingly racist things to my wife and homophobic to my sister. I haven't talked to her in years and I suspect I will not for the rest of her life.

        People act like I am a douche for this, but at this point I really see three options here. A) I roll my eyes and let her spew her stupid racist bullshit and move on, B) I push back, start an argument, and really upset my mother (whom I do like), or C) drop contact with her. C seems like the least-bad option.

        Kids owe their parents nothing. Not a single person on this planet asked to be born. If a parent (or grandparent) does something bad, the onus is not on the child to make things "right".

        People act like you have to love your family no matter what, but I think that's pretty naive. If literally anyone I didn't share DNA with said something racist about my wife then no one would give me shit for not talking to them, but suddenly because I'm related to them I just have to let this bullshit slide? Fuck that bullshit.

    • rationalistan hour ago
      I'm sorry :-(
    • tempaccountabcdan hour ago
      [dead]
    • twicloan hour ago
      You should call her
      • rationalistan hour ago
        I contemplating writing a reply suggesting maybe a text or email instead, but I don't know enough about OP's situation so I don't think it's appropriate to give any advice.
      • mr-wendel29 minutes ago
        Hard disagree.

        Maybe there is a time for difficult outreach, but recommending someone to celebrate a person (and one of the most significant people in their life) whose primary emotion is disgust in response to unchosen personal attributes is remarkably insensitive. No need to salt those wounds.

        Let's hope things get better for anyone in this circumstance, but IMO it is the parent's job to make an attempt.

        --

        Nobody wants to or tries to be this kind of person, so here is my shout out today to the moms who DID find a way to work through the challenge of accepting a child whose sexuality, spirituality, politics, etc. are different than they hoped for.

      • tombert21 minutes ago
        I don't mean to be a douche, but that's an exceedingly ignorant and short-sighted statement. A child doesn't owe their parents anything. If your parent is upset about something about you that you cannot change, then that parent can rightfully go fuck themselves.

        Kids don't owe their parents anything.

        • pixel_popping5 minutes ago
          I disagree a bit somehow with the statement as it's a bit too generic, in my perspective, I do owe my parents care when they get older (I don't care about laws, talking about morality), I wouldn't send them in a home waiting for them to die, they'll live with me and my wife until they die, I understand that many might disagree with this, and it's fair if you had shit parents, but if you had parents that genuinely cared and done everything for you, I believe you want to also be fair for the sacrifice they've done and take care of them when they are too old to take care of themselves (or if 1 of them die, luckily I have both of my parents still!).

          Can you really consider yourself a good kid if you just let them die in a center? In my eyes, no.

        • signatoremo13 minutes ago
          Kids own their parents their very presence.

          Each person has their own situation so it isn't my place to give specific advice, but each and everyone should pause for a moment on this day, be thankful that they are alive, and consider to do the right thing that they wouldn't regret if they don't do it. Even if you wouldn't call your parents.

          • tomberta few seconds ago
            No one asked to be born. People are only born because their parents brought them into existence.
          • rationalist6 minutes ago
            Do they really owe that?

            I think owing something should be contractual - they consent to owe something in a fair exchange.

            A person does not consent to being born.

            If someone treats you properly (raises you at least somewhat decently), you don't owe them anything, but you should feel an obligation to thank that person whether it's by saying thank you, or helping them later in their life when they need help.

      • Zambytean hour ago
        ... why?
      • llbbddan hour ago
        Lol. Call her and put on a heavy lisp
  • muzmich33 minutes ago
    thx, I almost missed it
  • bradlys10 minutes ago
    HN’s demo is quite old. It’s likely most here are married with kids or have a dead mother.

    The days of a young Silicon Valley are long gone.

  • late_night_fixan hour ago
    Appreciate the reminder,small post,big impact.Happy Mother's day to all moms here.
  • xthe42 minutes ago
    [dead]
  • gjvcan hour ago
    [flagged]
    • rationalistan hour ago
      You can make your own cards, and calling doesn't require you to buy any cards. I imagine receiving a call is more enjoyable than receiving a card.
    • EB-BarringtonII29 minutes ago
      Just a phone-call, it's not hard. Don't need to buy anything.
    • xyzelementan hour ago
      On the scale of 1 through 10 how happy is your wife with you in general? :)
    • 27 minutes ago
      undefined