7 pointsby PhiPawWolf7 hours ago12 comments
  • Eaglo6 hours ago
    I don't mean to ostracize or make you feel worse, but have you considered your furry'ness is worth less than friendship? Maybe your friends creating space was a way of saying "You care more about getting attention than you do about being part of our friendship"?

    Maybe set aside what you want to be (a furry) to maintain what you had (friends).

    I mainly suggest it because no one teaches young people they are responsible for their happiness. Maybe you're feeling depressed because of your choices (pretending to be a wolf)?

    My opinion is absolutely an unpopular one, but you have to think of your friends feelings, not just your own.

    • PhiPawWolf6 hours ago
      i guess i should consider this you know.
      • rationalist6 hours ago
        The other person has a point to an extent: relationships are two-way streets.
      • PhiPawWolf6 hours ago
        well im signing off for today.
        • rationalist6 hours ago
          Best of luck! And I hope you feel better!
  • Cider99867 hours ago
    I admit I have a bias against furries. Not sure where I got it, I guess people irl degrading them and social media.

    But I agree with the [dead] commenter who said, "They weren't true friends if they reacted like this."

    Edit:

    If someone learns something new about you, it is not unreasonable for them to update their opinion.

    But whether their reaction tells you something about you or something about them is a separate question. Their reaction says everything about them. Their reaction tells you whether their opinion is still worth caring about.

    Hang in there.

    • Cider99866 hours ago
      >But I agree with the [dead] commenter who said, "They weren't true friends if they reacted like this."

      I meant my edit as a revision of this. It is a nice vibe, but kind of problematic if it tries to make the previous years of friendship invalid. That would suck to have past years of friendship invalidated because of something in the future.

    • PhiPawWolf7 hours ago
      Thats fine if you have something against furries like me you know. Just dont let it control you to hurt anyone.
      • Cider99867 hours ago
        I would never try to hurt someone, regardless of what I think about them.
      • PhiPawWolf7 hours ago
        Also what do you mean by dead commenter?
        • rationalist7 hours ago
          It's a comment that does not show up due to various reasons unless you enable seeing "dead" (hidden) comments in the settings.

          And I guess someone "vouched" for that comment (which made it visible for new accounts), because I do not see any "dead" comments.

  • rationalist7 hours ago
    How long have they been your friends, and how strong of a friendship was it prior to that?

    Is there a reason you needed to tell others of your sexual preference? Is it intertwined with being a furry?

    People can get uncomfortable and not know how to handle unexpected news. Perhaps next time when feeling like sharing something out of the ordinary with someone, maybe treat it nonchalantly, like - you: I'll be there after I drop my suit off at the cleaners (maybe they might ask what the suit is for, then say meeting up with some people, or cosplay and explain you know how people wear costumes to conventions like characters from movies or characters that they invent on their own, I invented a character that I feel describes me, (then see if they ask about it, or wait for a different opportunity))

    Edit: I assumed a suit, but I suppose one can just have drawings of their fursona? I imagine fursuits are expensive and perhaps not everyone has one. Or maybe some people just have partial pieces like a tail, mask, or ear headband? I'm not that familiar with the fury culture.

    • Suppafly4 hours ago
      > Is it intertwined with being a furry?

      Notice that they didn't answer that, so you can safely assume the answer is yes and it's 100% understandable why their friends no longer want to associate with them.

    • PhiPawWolf6 hours ago
      Also for the second question i just felt safe you know i didnt really care about how anyone reacts to my sexuality
    • PhiPawWolf7 hours ago
      I just felt safe talking her and the other 3 you know.
    • PhiPawWolf7 hours ago
      We had been friends for nearly 7 years
      • PhiPawWolf7 hours ago
        It was also a pretty strong relationship. we had gone places together and made things together. and i almost asked her out once.
        • PhiPawWolf7 hours ago
          And the others well i had only know them for 4 years
  • knifepatrol7 hours ago
    If they can’t accept you for who you are, that’s their loss. I promise you there are brighter days ahead. Even if that seems hard to believe right now… it’s the truth.
  • 9x397 hours ago
    That's ok, you're weird and it's going to happen when you show normal people your weird side.

    You just need to find other people who are your kind of weird.

    • rationalist7 hours ago
      Or "normal"* people who don't get weirded out by unconventional things.

      * There is no such thing as normal.

      • Cider99866 hours ago
        I agree with the vibe of the comment you are replying to, and I agree with your assessment on normal.
  • AkiraHsieh6 hours ago
    I have a few furry friends too, some who even need their fursuits for social 'interactions.' But aside from that, they're just like anyone else. To me it's like having a friend who collects stamps - don't worry too much about others' opinions, as long as you're not harming anyone. Hope this helps.
  • serf4 hours ago
    is telling non-sexual partners about ones' own proclivities a means to seek validation for behavior that the person internally defines as socially fringe or uncommon?
  • HardwareLust7 hours ago
    If your "friends" left you because you told them you were a furry, then they were never your friends to begin with.

    Now that you've shed that baggage, go find some real friends.

    • Cider99867 hours ago
      Does it really make people "not your friends to begin with" if they react badly to learning something new about you?

      I am not saying this is the same situation at all, but it would not make someone "not your friend to begin with" if you were good friends for a while but then they started serial killing. Even if being a furry is no big deal at all, people do stupid things—that doesn't erase what came before.

      I certainly don't think you should leave your friends over them being a furry, but friends are complicated. You can have a meaningful friendship with someone who turns out to have serious flaws. I wouldn't want to invalidate a past friendship.

      • rationalist6 hours ago
        True; sometimes good people don't know how to handle shocking (unconventional) news.
        • PhiPawWolf6 hours ago
          Thank you i guess ill go fix things with her and the others
          • rationalist6 hours ago
            Maybe start with an apology: hey, I'm sorry if I shocked you with that, I know it's not conventional, and the last thing I want to do is make my friends feel uncomfortable. I know that some people can think it's weird because there are some weird people that do weird things in fursuits, but I just wanted to let you know that's not me. It's just a character I like to cosplay as, kind of like how people dress up at anime conventions

            Just an example, I don't have all the details or know you or anything. Edit it or write your own, or take a completely different approach. I'm not an expert at these kinds of things.

            • rationalist6 hours ago
              If you've tried reaching out already in the past couple of days and they were ghosting you: maybe have a day-long cool down period (not texting them), then say, "I value our friendship, so I asked some (non-fury) people for advice, and I want to apologize...
    • PhiPawWolf7 hours ago
      Yeah i think i will
  • tim-tday4 hours ago
    I try to wear my weirdness on the outside as a pre-selection against people who react like that. Fail early and fail often is my motto.

    Just gotta be weirder from the get go my dude.

  • allears7 hours ago
    I agree with everybody else. Friends don't judge, and these people didn't come through when you needed a little support. It's their loss, not yours.
    • PhiPawWolf7 hours ago
      I believe that, i guess. so thx
  • PhiPawWolf7 hours ago
    im gonna find some new friends whether its online or not
    • rationalist7 hours ago
      I recommend friends in-person rather than online.

      Idk how it is for most people, but I make friends with people whom I share activities with (school, work, church, clubs, etc). Find an activity that you enjoy and then see who you enjoy doing that activity with, then suggest maybe hanging out, outside of that activity.

  • Kenji7 hours ago
    They weren't true friends if they reacted like this. The furry fandom is very sweet and I'm sure you'll make new friends, don't let it drag you down.
    • Suppafly4 hours ago
      >The furry fandom is very sweet

      Except the large portion of it that uses it as sexual fetish.

    • PhiPawWolf7 hours ago
      Thank you