>It's kind of crazy when someone has an outlier experience and then tries to frame an entire country as being that way. I've experienced a lot of cultures, countries, and environments. The United States is KNOWN for being a friendly country of people who will talk to you and smile at you for "no reason" other than because Americans are friendly.
Go to many countries in Europe or even Russia, you'll experience the exact oppositive. If you smile at people or talk to a stranger, you will essentially be treated as if something is wrong with you.
Everyone knows this is true about the US. Your comment is clearly trying to portray the United States in a negative light with something that is entirely not true.
And then there's my experience: someone who has lived in the US for over 30+ years.
Troll or a weirdo.
There's a saying in Spanish that says, "Don't make firewood out of a fallen tree." You could learn a lot from that saying.
Maybe some will call me a troll or wierdo, but there's one thing I will never be: someone who makes firewood out of a fallen tree.
God bless you, as a person. I know we hide behind these screennames, but if I were standing in front of you, I would extend my hand and from the bottom of my heart, ask God to bless you, as a person, in real life.
I'm not perfect, so I can't blame you for addressing me as a troll. But I speak from the heart brother.
It can seem untrue, but there are still lots of communities online and offline.
Also regarding “people in the US are friendly, people elsewhere are unfriendly” (which IMO is incorrect but users are being too harsh on you). Most people in the southern US are generally known for appearing friendly and extroverted, while most in Eastern Europe appear “cold” and introverted. It’s a culture thing. But there are people who pretend to be friendly while spreading rumors behind your back (as you’ve experienced) and not committing to anything; likewise, some cold people are very nice if you get to know them, and would immediately help anyone in need, they just don’t like smalltalk with strangers. “You can’t judge a book by its cover”: there are friendly and unfriendly people everywhere, look for those who demonstrate commitment (act friendly and help others in ways that require effort or don’t improve their appearance).
https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/quetiapine-oral...
First principle: social milieus run primarily on instinct, so the first rule is know thyself: what are your instincts? What you find attractive in others, what annoys you. What do you want?
Next: You can't always get what you want but we tend to get what we need. Observe silent gratitude when you feel it and make a note of it.
Third: ask not what others can do for you, but what can you do for others, in a manner that fits your feelings, values, and after this, what do you wish for them. Offer your surplus gingerly to the people you like.
Continuing: Respect your own feelings about those you don't like. Understand yourself, your moods, peeves, pleasures, agitations.
Keep work relationships focused on the work at hand. Build trust with your own performance and stay focused on the work. When you have the good fortune to find friendly birds of a feather, treat these relationships with the respect and boundaries appropriate to the workplace. Don't let others suck you into their trips out of obligations of appearing friendly.
Lastly, most of who we are is unconscious and instinctual. Being nice all the time might seem appealing from a pragmatic view, but it's vibe that can truly annoy others subconsciously. If there's "a game" we all play socially it's to conserve the privilege of our solitude and time with people we truly like. Work is full bores.
(A bore being someone who deprives you of solitude without offering company)
Regarding destiny or a personal curse:
It is possible you are a true social outlier having an unusual and unfortunate experience that few others have seen nor can they appreciate. It's possible that workplace life is now generally insane. Consider your own temperament and values and how you will walk through hell.
Observe that while you might be in hell, by your own conduct and attitude, anyplace you end up can potentially become better because you're there!
If you aren't finding what you need, try building it for those around you.
Paragraph 1: Indicates to me an orientation toward extraverted feeling, or really, really unaware of other's actual attitudes/how their behaviors map to the inclinations of the deeper psyche.
Next 3 paragraphs; shocked@ the fact that when people are not face to face, a different side of them seems to manifest that they don't present to you face-to-face. If this hasn't occurred to you before, you probably haven't been paying attention, and should absolutely start doing so, right now. You also are not wrong in this observation, but not entirely right either.
Paragraph 4: Oooh. Ouch. Okay, Corporate faux pas on a couple levels. Sounds like a Director handed you something to do, if it's the FIRST time, it's often a test. Director gave you task. Take materials, make training course. Director probably knows there are errors. Expects you to do one of a few things. The part you didn't catch, is they were trying to measure a couple things. A) Were you willing to ask questions? B) Were you willing to take ownership and optimize? C) Would you correct something you could plainly see was wrong? You took the passive route of least resistance and most face saving (for that Director from your perspective) by just doing whatever you consider "making the training, you didn't specify, but I'm assuming maybe converting a slide deck to worksheets/pamphlets, etc. The formula, is Observe, Orient, Decide, Act.
You observed things were off. You oriented toward passivity/face saving. You denied yourself discretion, you turned the materials in with a minimum of actual care. You thought you were being helpful. This other Director obviously prioritized results over how he felt about it, so gave YOUR Director an earful. This is not uncommon. This is priority/optimization mismatch. Could totally be worked out in feedback stage. That requires people being adults. You were clearly not working with one.
Next five paragraphs; Congratulations, it's time for you to learn a lovely word; Enantidromia. Everyone, no exceptions, goes through it. The mask we wear in front of people is not the entire being. We're just trained by society to pretend that is the case. Eventually, ya get old enough and start to realize there's more going on there. You are there.
Last three paragraphs: Alright, see what you wrote there? That came from a part of you. That is the part calling out. It doesn't give a damn about what society thinks should be right for you. it wants you to be you. Everything there about building, and feeling done with corporate and two faced people? That's the part being denied authenticity. The part that blows, you being a family man, and all, is you can't just ignore it. If you do, you're gonna start falling apart. You fall apart, someone in the family is going to have to compensate, you don't want that, right? So you need to work with it now. That part of you is where the oomph comes from. So, take it from someone who has been there; do not try to medicate it away. Do not ignore it. Listen to it. Work with it. It's going to want you to do things you can't necessarily do right now. That's okay. It doesn't have to get exactly what it wants, but ya need to give it something. The more you do, the easier it'll get to find the energy to deal with the world, and the more life'll start to make sense, as that part of you you've clearly been ignoring, gets integrated into your mentation loop.
If you're going through what I think you are, congratulations. You've been handed the blueprint to not drive yourself crazy by someone else who very nearly did, because no one was there to help me out when I went through it. If you're just looking to waste time, which I really don't think you are from your post history. You're new. Not toxic, but definitely not "in" yet. If I'm wrong... Eh, I tried.
Further references: C. G. Jung, look up individuation & his theory of Archetypes. It'll sound like woo. There's a lot of woo based on it, but it ain't woo. Trust me on this one. It'll click with some reading and introspection, and being really, really honest with yourself. Being honest with yourself will at first be hard. Keep at it. It takes active effort. Don't be like me. Take it seriously, get it done. There ain't no going back. Your family needs you.
Good luck waking up, and when ya do, give em all hell for me. I believe in ya.