"I talked to the aliens. They said I was the smartest, fittest, most virile human they ever saw. Pinnacle of evolution, they said. They packed up all of their probes. Not like Barack. Poor weak Barack. He never told you about the aliens because he's ashamed. I played basketball against him on Mars and dunked on him hard. All that Kenyan fast-twitch muscle but he never stood a chance against me. I bobbed and weaved, bobbed and weaved. Learned it on Jeffery's island chasing the little girls around when they got out of the cages. Shouldn't have kept them oiled up, they just squeezed through the bars better, but apparently Diddy got him into it. Anyway, Hillary's a lizard, the aliens confirmed it. She can dislodge her jaw and fit a whole human head in her mouth and she dissolves it like a lozenge with acid. And Kamala. I guess the Democrats have a lizard problem. Sleepy Joe never knew any of this. Who would read Sleepy Joe into anything? He'd just fall asleep."