The first sentence is obviously true, but I'm going to need to see some evidence for "enormous bias" and "total nonsense". Let's leave aside lousy/little/badly-seeded PRNGs. Are there any non-cryptographic examples in which a well-designed PRNG with 256 bits of well-seeded random state produces results different enough from a TRNG to be visible to a user?
I imagine you could change the p-value test to randomly sample assignments generated via the exact same process that was used to generate the assignment used by the experiment, and as you run more and more iterations of this the calculated p-value should converge to the correct value, but then the question becomes is the p-value calculated this way the same as the p-value you'd get if you actually went ahead and used equiprobable assignment to begin with?
Ultimately, this all comes down to the fact that it's not hard to use true randomness for the whole thing, and true randomness produces statistically valid results, if you use true randomness for assignment then you can't screw up the p-value test, and so there's no reason at all to even consider how to safely use a PRNG here, all that does is open the door to messing up.
^[1]: There are other interpretations, of course. And those other interpretations are equally explanatory. But they do not claim to be explanations of what is actually happening to unobserved quantum particles. There is also Bohmian mechanics, but I don't know how many people take it seriously.
What's bullshit about it? This is how TRNGs in security enclaves work. They collect entropy from the environment, and use that to continuously reseed a PRNG, which generates bits.
If you're talking "true" in the philosophical sense, that doesn't exist -- the whole concept of randomness relies on an oracle.