Don't keep score. If you're there and there's dishes, rinse them and put them in the dishwasher. It'll take a few minutes and your partner will be grateful.
If you insist on keeping score, aim for something like 80% of the time.
Here's why I rinse my dishes: it keeps the dishwasher trap cleaner and I get less build up in the dishwasher drain lines, so I have less maintenance to do. The dishes come out clean, anyway.
Edit: It’s true for modern dishwashers. I can’t believe I spent time looking into this. The recommendation is still to scrape food off to prevent the aforementioned issues.
You still want to scrape of loose food, of course, or yes you'll get a dirty filter faster.
Now it gets loaded haphazardly throughout the day, run at night, and emptied the next morning.
It really, really offends my sensibilities. Stuff is in the "wrong" place. We are using a lot more detergent. I assume we are using a lot more energy and water.
I haven't had any dishwasher-related fights with my wife and daughter since we started this new protocol. I guess that's a win.
Starting the washer generally falls to me, and wile I will shift items to fit as much in as possible, what I mostly fix are things like: placing a large item where the rotor will hit it, or cutlery with the handles up in the basket which can actually stop the bottom rotor spinning if a forks' prongs point through the bottom.
Loading up. If you're not loading it up, the rest of the loop is useless. If you're loading it incorrectly, the arm doesn't spin and you are better off not having a machine doing it. Also, consistently loading it optimally is of course best. Throwing everything in the box and hoping it gets sorted before running is the worst way to approach the job. You don't start playing Tetris on line 14, you start on line 0.
Running optimally. Running it when 100% full is not the ideal option. You are best off running on a schedule that best allows time for the next step. Usually overnight and middle of the day are good but it entirely depends on when you expect to have free time for the last step.
Unloading. Just do it. Do it before picking up anything else. It comes before everyone gets to bother you with anything. You can't eat until everything is back where it should be. And you need to eat.
I consider it some of my best podcast listening time. Somehow I’m more tuned in when doing house chores vs. trying to just sit and listen, or while walking outside where I have to pay attention to traffic when crossing the street and such.