I'd tell you a UDP joke…(www.codepuns.com)
188 pointsby redmattreda month ago28 comments
  • LeoPantheraa month ago
    "Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

    "Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

    "Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

    "OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."

    "Ok, I will hear a TCP joke."

    "Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"

    "Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."

    "Ok, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."

    "Ok, I am ready to get your TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have an explicit setting, and ends with a punchline."

    "I'm sorry, your connection has timed out. Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

    • Izmakia month ago
      This one is the only one among the 10+ I browsed through on the website and read in the comments that actually made me laugh. Good one! Thanks for sharing. :)
      • karmakurtisaania month ago
        Yeah most of those "jokes" boil down to taking a common programming keyword and using it in a sentence.
  • dmurraya month ago
    I was asked in an interview to explain the difference between TCP and UDP.

    I knew about enough to fill an index card: enough for an adequate interview answer, but not enough that I would relish getting follow-up questions.

    While deciding what to say I started with this joke. The interviewer laughed and moved on to the next question. I got the job offer.

  • divbzeroa month ago
    Or alternatively:

    > I would UDP joke tell you a… but you get it might not.

    • Neywinya month ago
      Or alternatively:

      > I would UDP joke tell you a… but you get it might not.

    • kuekacanga month ago
      > A UDP joke I would tell you... but you might get it not
  • ericcumbeea month ago
    An SQL Query walks into a bar and sees two table....he says "Mind if I join you?"
  • bigstrat2003a month ago
    I can tell you a DNS joke, but be aware that it might take 8 hours for everyone to get it.
    • cylemonsa month ago
      DNS is slow? or you mean domain updates
      • w-lla month ago
        I've updated the joke, refresh on your end.
  • CPLXa month ago
    I'd share my joke about HTTP here, but it makes me feel insecure.
  • spiffytecha month ago
    I used this during a "geeky jokes" icebreaker at work. No one got the joke so I just sounded condescending. Lesson learned.
  • blorenza month ago
    This was out of order.
  • omoikanea month ago
    This looks like a tumblr site, which means you can get all the content on one page instead of having to page through them one at a time:

    https://www.codepuns.com/archive

  • travisda month ago
    packets udp bar walk a into
    • kachapopopowa month ago
      ok this might sound crazy, but at first I completely missed the joke because it automatically rearranged the entire sentance into udp packets walked into a bar. I wonder how that works psychologically.
      • jbotza month ago
        You don't read a word at a time... every typical line of text is taken in with 2 or 3 eye focal points and the meaning of each group of words is determined in a single chunk. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saccade#Reading
      • lostlogina month ago
        > I completely missed the joke because it automatically rearranged the entire sentance into udp packets walked into a bar.

        Same here.

    • bitwizea month ago
      2 FORTH PROGRAMMERS BAR INTO WALK
      • a month ago
        undefined
  • senthil_rajaseka month ago
    Here is an ICMP joke,

    - Knock Knock

    - Who's there?

    - Thank you

    • redmattreda month ago
      If you want to hear a great ICMP joke just ping me
    • burnt-resistora month ago
      Failed to shout it loud enough to make an echo. It TTL'ed 3 hops away.
  • yencabulatora month ago
    The bad thing about reliable multicast jokes is that you're asked to repeat them.
  • memseta month ago
    In the same vein, here are some goodies:

    - Jon Skeet facts: https://meta.stackexchange.com/questions/9134/jon-skeet-fact...

    - Chuck Norris facts: http://www.betterprogramming.com/chuck-norris-programming-fa...

  • Zobata month ago
    There's two hard problems in programming. Naming things, cache invalidation and off by one errors.
  • mlhpdxa month ago
    There are two kinds of people when it comes to UDP.
    • lucb1ea month ago
      Which are those?

      Btw, it reminds me of "10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't"

      • fragmedea month ago
        There are 11 kinds of people that understand binary. Those that understand binary, those that don't understand binary, and those that understand grey code.
      • d34th0rl1f3a month ago
        those who get it, and ...
        • lucb1ea month ago
          Ah, right! :D
      • sieabahlparka month ago
        [dead]
  • 0ldblu3a month ago
    The wording I use is "I have a great UDP joke I could tell you... but I don't know if you'll get it".
  • charcircuita month ago
    You can't guarantee delivery of any message. This is the basis of the 2 generals problem.
  • Polizeiposaunea month ago
    IP UDP we all P for TCP
  • blackliona month ago
    There was list of such jokes for 40+ protocols, past and present, but I cannot find it anymore, only small part on different blogs and forums :(
  • irishcoffeea month ago
    I think I prefer the punchline “I don’t expect you to get it, and it’s not a big deal if you don’t, happens to everyone”
  • yencabulatora month ago
    The great thing about TLS jokes is that you can tell if it's not original.
  • a month ago
    undefined
  • kmosera month ago
    What did one broke programmer say to the other?

    "Hey, buddy, can you paradigm?"

  • burnt-resistora month ago
    Put a cork in it.
  • effnorwood25 days ago
    but ICMP took my beer
  • Gibbon1a month ago
    ght get it liYou mike this though
  • MarkusWandela month ago
    "get not you might it but"