My sense is that Apple and Google don't really care to have small entrants into their app stores at this point. (I've jumped through all the same hoops and more.) They know they hold all the cards for now, and aren't under a lot of pressure to improve or simplify their current processes.

Not sure if there's anything to be done about it outside of legislation.

Only do PWAs now. I’ve tried to launch native apps but it’s too difficult to jump through all the dang hoops.

My guess is the friction is there to discourage scammers and indie developers are just collateral damage.

They don’t care about you, why should you care about them?

Google’s oauth also has a multi-day approval nowadays.