I'd have it...
* give me wakeup calls,
* call to remind me of all meetings with an exclamation in the title,
* call my wife whenever my phone detects i'm entering a casino,
* call me whenever my wife's within 3 miles of her ex's house,
* answer when I call and it'd give me uplifting life advice platitudes like "Hey, you're doing alright. Also, you look /fabulous/ today!"
* ... :ponder_emoji_here: ;-)