I just got laid off last week and was looking forward to taking some time, but someone last night strongly advised me not to wait as Spring is hiring season. I should probably start looking.
I'll tell you what I really hate, is when you get short on vacation during a burn out period. Then you really see how trapped you are.
I think a mistake I've made is sticking things out because I wanted to get my 3 years in. That's a long time for a LinkedIn badge.
But that signal came with a cost.
2. If management is not setting explicit expectations for you then write your own expectations and make that part of your management conversation.
3. Determine who owns this mess by name. If nobody owns it then accept ownership and become the product owner of record. Business requirements may change rapidly but as the product owner you get to set parameters and write tools/processes to lower risks and increase code reuse.
4. No what happens just remember that at this point you are an individual contributor and you can only do the work assigned in the daylight hours. At the end of the day just go home.
Startups are nice because the environment you are describing quickly leads to a failed startup. I've identified recently that that's a preference of mine. The need for survival does wonderful things to organizational alignment.
You are very smart, you appear driven. You either need to piss your drive away, or find a role where you can perform to the degree that you desire.
Finding another role to perform is, I fear, a bit risky in this situation as the possibility of quickly getting in a worse state of burnout would be much higher...
If you are hoping for a fair tale world where it's almost perfect, I don't think that exists. You need to think about this differently. Instead of saying "everything sucks and I want the perfect situation before I can do my best", say this "I think there is an opportunity here for me to take on, fix some of the issues and hopefully grow with the team".
In my opinion, what really matters is how good and supportive your team is. Your management. Are they at least supportive or are their expectations too much without giving you anything in return ? Focus on that. If you have a good supportive environment with people you like working with, think twice before leaving.
This is the real world again. No matter where you go, dysfunction will be there. Good luck.
> Are they at least supportive or are their expectations too much without giving you anything in return ? Focus on that. If you have a good supportive environment with people you like working with, think twice before leaving.
I can very well give them that, in that they're pretty much ok with me learning on my own and not immediately contributing to the codebase (aside from the matter of this particular project having to wait months before things will start advancing in that direction), as long as I occupy my time with prototyping stuff for future use... you're right in saying that a supportive environment is more often than not a rarity to cherish rather than the norm. I will keep what you recommended in high regard, thank you.
This is internalized capitalist serfdom right there. You are in a business contract. If it’s not your fault you can’t do anything useful, why the F feel guilty? Best thing you can do - if I may suggest - is to use that time to find a better job. Sometimes a job doesn’t work out, don’t beat yourself up over it and learn the signs.
To me it seems like you may have broader issues with people pleasing and external validation. I don't know you, but this is what I got from your text. I think trying to resolve your identity and your role at work will help you out. Burnout only happens to people that are overly invested in things beyond their control.