4 pointsby cinamonbin2 months ago3 comments
  • like_any_other2 months ago
    > Meanwhile, for the sadist — and especially the famous one, as Gaiman has discovered — it leaves your good reputation a hostage to fortune, hoping that those with whom you had degrading sex in the past never properly get to know their own minds.

    Of course - how could anyone that "properly knows their own mind" ever like something the author so disapproves of? You may think you want it, you may have longed for it for years, you may even have sought it out yourself, without the persuasion of a sadist or dominant (something the author carefully omits, along with any mention of safe-words, the most basic of basics in BDSM, despite bringing up the possibility of changing one's mind mid-act - the exact scenario safe-words address), but actually, those are all false desires.. planted in your mind by the devil to tempt you, I guess.

    • tacet2 months ago
      There have always been low key feminist bdsm-wars playing along the same lines as sex wars did.

      On one hand, bdsm should not be exempt from inquiry and criticism, but this article kind of uses shock imagery instead of exploring what consent is, how does it work, how it becomes complicated.

      • like_any_other2 months ago
        It should be noted there is no lack of male submissives and masochists - the very term 'masochism' is named after a man.
  • xingo2 months ago
    Being horribly abusive towards women is very common amongst those men who claim to support women's rights, as Gaiman did.

    Beware the "male feminist".

    More often than not, they are wolves in sheep's clothing, trying to gain the trust of vulnerable women to take advantage for their own perverse and selfish ends.

    Doubly so if they are into "kink" like that discussed in the article.

    • tacet2 months ago
      It is also very common amongst those men who don't claim to support womens rights. It's just that there is no shock about deception. Reading the vulture article, there is attempt to tie in feminism in that article, but looking at details, it doesn't really come into picture - it is just powerful man straight up doing whatever he wants. In case of Pavlovich she was just straight up delivered in his hands by Palmer with Palmers full knowledge on what would likely happen. That is what actually shocks me the most.

      In a way there is no avoiding feminism - we are commenting article written by feminist expressing view of some radfems that there can be no consensual bdsm. Your warning has it's own chapter in one of Dworkins books.

  • 2 months ago
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