96 is not reflecting my age, I'm in my early 30s

This is a throwaway so I can be dumb and learn stuff

Career/partial life bio

Decided to trim this about down, will post pastebin links overtime

May 2025

I have not been making progress financially, have more of a burden (supporting relatives) but I think I'm out of my funk of screwing around. After damaging my car and wasting money by drinking/hitting up strip clubs I think I'm ready to fix my life/upskill again. The damage thing is just from hitting a pothole/driving over this parking bumper thing which is dumb... this particular parking lot the ground had divots from wheels so my bumper actually hit the thing normally it doesn't.

Damn I got a speeding ticket. The officer gave me a break/reduced the speed but yeah first one in 10+ years. It's funny I used to feel untouchable, I mean I have great corrected vision so before I fuck around I check. But this time I go around a corner, see cars jammed up so I slow down but by that point this cop already had me on laser. I'm trying to break the habit of speeding because eventually I want to get a nicer sports car but I understand still can't drive fast even with a fast car less you want to track which currently to me seems boring. I'm just trying not to go over 100mph anymore at least. Which sucks my car goes almost 160mph and the future ones can hit 200mph.

I go on these walks with a buddy at work, as contractors we're hourly. So I figure I lose 4 hrs a week = $200 and then it's x4 a month $800 lost to walking ha. I use my lunch to work out but I'll walk less/fill it in with PTO.

I still have the problem of not being able to accept being wrong "butthurt". Ahh man. Now I just walkaway hit up a bar.

I think I'm gaining control of my life again (not getting wasted and doing dumb shit like dumping 2 grand at a strip club then being broke till next paycheck). I've accepted that I'm going to fix my life and think about women later. I've been in debt for 15 years now it's crazy. Live in the same apt for 9 years, I'm just stuck. I need to change. I also feel myself wanting to make things again, I've been going out every weekend for the past like 3 months. I've just been working or partying. I don't even play video games anymore. Doom Dark Ages comes out though will get that when I can afford it.

I'm broke af, it sucks because I keep dropping money $800 this time strip club again. Getting back to it, focus on fixing my life vs. chasing women. I have money right, $8K/mo after taxes but yeah. I have $83K of debt too. Still haven't fixed my car wheel. I'm back to porn, it's too distracting not to have an outlet.

I have not worked on my own projects lately (in months). I've barely worked my second jobs (freelance software). I've primarily been working the main software job, driving uber eats or partying.

Apr 2025

Life goes on and on... I'm in a good spot atm. The other day I dropped $1.2K at a strip club that was not great. I also busted my car's alloy rim so I have to get that replaced. Still solo, desperate needy guy. I'm lifting though, benching 240 lbs now. I decided to quit porn as I think that has negatively influenced my interactions with women, I still choke the bishop as they say but with other media.

Oh yeah I did find a great EDM place, jumping dancing... but I decided to climb this face in the alley so I'm probably banned from there damn. (no I went back the next week)

I'm still being dumb, club-hopped last weekend, ended up hugging a toilet puking at the last place. Now just trying to increase my social interactions and decrease alcohol.

Life is not bad. My mgr is actually supportive of me. I even started an office thing of Hawaiian shirt Thursdays ha. But yeah still need to get financially secure.

Mar 2025

I am a major dumbass though last night I was driving (not sober), I had a random guy I met's firearm in the car, like if I was pulled over I would have been f'd and I was going over 150mph so yeah... dumbass. Idk why I do it.

I'm going to be pro-active about not repeating the above because my life is not bad, I make good money/single, healthy... be dumb to throw it away go to prison or whatever. I've been to jail before it sucks ass.

Hashing it out with manager we'll see, I think it's a me problem, get less butthurt

Still clean record, next problem

I will probably be a criminal after today (19) eg. a misdemeanor from being too drunk in public.

Same old, driven by fear of debt and loneliness.

Nope, another work issue, aiming for ending my contract and moving on, my side gig may be an option

Work relations are improving, actually got a buddy to hang with now

https://pastebin.com/5xCTbGsu (2023 - Mar 2025)